


Not As A Brother

by Kazirae



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: #the100 #angst #suicide #murder #depression #jealousy #anger #dropship #murphamy #bellarke, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:00:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24547273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kazirae/pseuds/Kazirae
Summary: Short story I wrote of jealous Murphy.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Bellamy Blake/John Murphy
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	Not As A Brother

-1 Month After Landing On Earth  
—————————————————  
I pace the drop ship after hearing the rumour from Raven. The rumour that’s sent my heart into a spiral and my mind into a rage. I’ve been in love with Bellamy for a while now and knowing that he might be with Clarke... it makes me feel betrayed even though there was no way Bellamy could know that I’m in love with him. That’s it I can’t just pace anymore I have to find out the truth. I can’t just get my information off of stupid rumours made by bored zero-g mechanics.

I search the camp and find Bellamy talking to Finn. Finn has an angry expression on his face and then he storms off, like the big baby he is. Bellamy lets out a long sigh and rubs his eyes. “Hey” I saunter up to him with my hands tucked loosely in my jean pockets. “What do you want Murphy?” Ooh that stung... “Was just wondering if the rumour that the mechanics are spreading around is true or if they’re just bored assholes trying to stir something up.” I say smirking. This rumour can’t be true. “What rumour?” Bellamy seems to be paying more attention now. “The rumour about you and Clarke dating which seems to be a stupid rumour to start considering you two are like brother and sister.” I snort. Bellamy lets out a sigh. “The rumours true. Clarke and I are dating, well not officially yet.” My heart plummets and I think it shows on my face because Bellamy pipes up. “You good Murphy?” “Yeah I’m happy for you Bell, the heart and the head. Made for each other right?” I say plastering a fake smile on my face. Faking my happiness as per usual. “Right. Thank you Murphy. Now I have to go deal with Finn.” “What’d Collins do now?” I say rolling my eyes. “He’s just butt hurt because both his girls realized how much of an ass he is.” Bellamy says crossing his arms staring in the direction Finn had taken off in. I nod and punch Bellamy in the shoulder playfully. “Go show him who’s the real man.” Bellamy chuckles and gives my shoulder a squeeze before taking off after Finn. 

-A Month Later  
—————————  
When they made things official 3 weeks ago I didn’t think it was going to last. I was in denial. Yet now I see they are perfect for each other in so many ways. Bellamy glows when he’s near her and Clarke shines. They are together, ruling the camp side by side. Not afraid of kissing goodbye or hello in front of others. They constantly hold hands or at the least stand so close it’s like they’re one. It infuriates me, how close they are. How much I’ve been cut out of Bellamy’s life. Although that’s probably my fault after being so cold to Clarke. I want her gone. Bellamy just follows her like a dog on a leash. Anything she does or says goes. I lift my sleeves up and stare at the scar across my wrist. I close my eyes and the memories of being tortured by the grounders comes flooding back. How when I finally got back to camp I tried to kill myself by slitting my wrist to get away from the pain. I still feel the pain and I learned to cope with it for awhile but this past month... without Bell, I’ve been wanting to escape the pain again. I have to kill Clarke. That’s the only way I have Bellamy all to myself again. Best friends again right? I just can’t get caught.

-A Week Later  
————————  
Tonight’s the night. Bellamy is up late in a meeting with Raven about repairing the heating in the drop ship for winter. Clarke is alone in their tent, all alone. I take a deep breath and trace my finger over the scars on my wrists before grabbing my knife and slipping it into my sleeve. I walk out of the drop ship and over to Clarke and Bellamy’s tent. “Clarke?” I say her name quietly. I listen, nothing. I open the door and see her sleeping form breathing peacefully in the makeshift bed they had made. I walk over to her quietly. I know she’s a light sleeper. All of us have to be so we can survive. I’m lucky she sleeps in her back. I slip the knife out of my sleeve and into my hand. I lean down next to her, looking at her disgusting blonde hair. “You’ve kept us alive Clarke I’ll give you that but I believe Bellamy can do better without you. I need him and you’re taking him from me. You’re in my way. So go float yourself.” I raise the knife and slash it across her throat. I see her eyes fly open and I cover her mouth hastily with my hand. She starts kicking as the blood sputters out of her throat. I swing my legs over her and hold her down. I look down into her panicking blue eyes and she knows it’s over. She tries to make a sound and I raise my finger to my lips in a shushing motion with my knife in hand. Finally I see the life fade from her frantic eyes and my muscles relax. I’m glad I didn’t have to use my gun. I got lucky. I slide off of her and drop down sitting on the ground. I feel the tears threatening to spill and I wipe them away only feeling Clarke’s blood being smeared wherever I touch. I shudder, what have I done? It’s for the best, she was in the way. She wasn’t good for Bellamy, my Bell. My sweet, loving, caring, handsome, patient Bell. I feel a small smile creep across my face as I think of him. I need to hurry if I want to get Clarke’s body out of camp without being seen. I slip my knife back up my sleeve. I get up and put one arm under Clarke’s back and one under her knees. I pick her up and turn around. I hear footsteps nearing the tent. I gulp, please pass, please pass, please pass. The footsteps stop outside the door and I feel my heart racing. The fabric door falls open and Bellamy walks in. He hasn’t looked my way yet. He lights a lantern and I can’t bring myself to move. I’m frozen in place. He’s going to hate me forever, he’s going to want me dead or more likely he will kill me right here, right now. I watch him turn in horror. I watch as his eyes widened and he dropped to his knees. He screamed as tears streamed down his face. Looking at him, distraught and broken. Because of me... why couldn’t I just accept that he loved her not me. If I truly loved him I would’ve wanted him to be happy.. right? I feel my hold on Clarke start to slip and Bellamy immediately notices rushing to catch her corpse that’s falling from my weak arms. I’m panicking tears rushing down my face. Bellamy clings to her for life and cries, “WHY?” He repeated it over and over yelling at first then going quieter and quieter each time. He deserves an answer. “I... Bellamy...” I choke out, I can’t even say it. “MURPHY HOW COULD YOU I TRUSTED YOU!? YOU WERE LIKE A BROTHER!” I felt my heart shatter even more if that was possible at this point. “Why... why did you...?” He’s having trouble breathing right as he sobs into Clarke’s blood soaked chest. I’m frozen, I fucked up beyond repair... My mind is in a haze of pain. I drop to my knees with a thud. I feel my hands fumble for my holster. The cold metal touches my fingertips and I pull the pistol out. I cock it and I see Bellamy look up with red eyes. “If you were here to kill us then do it Murphy. Get it over with and kill me, finish the job. I just want to know why?” He sounded hurt now, no longer angry. Just hurt. “Because I love you Bell. I couldn’t stand seeing you with Clarke... you deserved so much better. You’re too good Bellamy Blake. Too good for Clarke and too good for me.” His face drops into a shocked expression. “You did this because you love me? I loved you Murphy, you were my brother. But how could you kill her when you knew I loved her...?” “I DON’T LOVE YOU AS A BROTHER BELLAMY! AND NOT AS A FRIEND! IM IN LOVE WITH YOU AND I FUCKED EVERYTHING UP!... goodbye Bellamy... I love you.” I sob. “Good you’re finally going to put me out of my misery. Do it... you’re one of those people who watches a dog with four broken legs suffer and enjoys it. Well you are the reason this dogs legs are broken. Are you happy yet Murphy? Is this what you wanted?” “No it wasn’t what I wanted. I realize that now Bell and I can’t take it back... goodbye...” I raise the gun and feel the cold metal against my chin. I smile at Bellamy, then squeeze the trigger. BAM

-Bell  
———  
“NO MURPHY!” He just... I look at the two corpses of the people I love most laying around me. I reach out shakily for the gun in Murphy’s limp hand. I unfurl his fingers from around the gun and take it into mine. I check the barrel, two more bullets left. I sigh and raise the gun to my temple. My hands are sweaty and I keep readjusting my grip. Everything is ringing and I take a deep breath. Goodb- BAM


End file.
